Posts Tagged ‘change’

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Have you ever been making something in your studio, day after day, even though you’ve become aware that its really not a good idea, and its really not going well?

I am currently casting picture frames in concrete and creating stencils to spray paint them with. I wanted these to work as graffiti and fine art while making a reference to the arts and crafts movement. It all seemed like a really great idea in my head. This was going to my big summer project for our new studio. But, boy am I frustrated now.

I know why this is happening: The vision of the project in my brain could not account for the realities of the materials, my lack of fluency with the materials and subjects, and my fear of color.

I know what I’m going to do about it: nothing. This is because I know that there are no dead ends in the making process. If I continue to diligently work at this project, something completely unexpected will emerge from the making process. This is how all my good work gets made, but its frustrating and wasteful (I make lots of experiments).

What do you do when you know you’re heading in the wrong direction?

Neutrality

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Happy New Year! Sorry I’ve had such a long hiatus from writing. I would love to blame it on something like the end of the semester, the holidays, vacation, etc., but I don’t really believe it was any of those. I believe my silence is the result of and overwhelming feeling of neutrality I’ve had for a while. Its not quite a depression, but more like a type of boring contentment. I’ve had no inspiration to make work in my studio or apply for shows and its really becoming quite frustrating.

I’ve started some of what I need to do to turn this around.

  1. Get back on track with meditation. I tend to loose my momentum during the holidays and while traveling, something I’m embarrassed to admit, but I am getting back on track with my at home practice, and I am signed up for the next evening class, Contentment in Everyday Life at The Shambhala Center.
  2. Exercise. After our ski vacation I am really inspired to exercise outside nearly everyday even when it is cold, snowy and icy here in Chicago. I’ve been cross-country skiing once and have been urban hiking around town in my new yaktrax.
  3. Reading. I’ve started to dive into my new books starting with “The Critique Handbook, A Sourcebook and Survival Guide” Which will help me lead more rigorous critiques during this next semester.
  4. Going to my studio. This area still needs improvement. I just need to go there, even when there is seemingly nothing to do.
  5. Remain open. It seems like I’ve been short circuiting every idea. “Oh that won’t work.” or “Thats dumb.” Almost all my work is the result of making one thing and discovering something else unexpected. Without the making part, the discover will never come.
  6. Go to see art. This is also on the to-do list. I want to go to some openings and make use of my new Art Institute membership this week.
  7. Be Gentle. I am also reading “Start Where You Are,” and I need to remind myself of Pema’s gentle approach constantly. Beating myself up for perceived failures will not get me anywhere. Lately, even though I’ve been accomplishing things from my to do list, I only feel like I’ve done nothing.
  8. Sketchbook! Work in it. I am planning to cut out everything I found inspiring from last year’s Sculpture Magazines for my sketchbook, and review previous notes and ideas.
  9. Help someone. This is something I’ve been aware of since undergrad. Somehow helping someone else really gets things going. I don’t have any art friends I can help at the moment, but I will be helping my neighbor design some storage solutions for her condo.

Hope your new year is of to a more inspired start.

“Leftovers” show opening at MiniDutch Sept. 13th

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

Dear Friends,

I am excited to present this new show of old stuff:

Leftovers
Opening Reception: September 13th, 7-10pm

MiniDutch another apartment gallery
3111 W. Diversey
Chicago, IL 60647
773.235.5687
http://www.minidutchgallery.org/

In this show I’ve made work from the materials that have been in my studio, in some cases for over 10 years. I’ve been carting these leftover and never used materials around think that someday I would make art with them. The materials vary from found objects, felt, latex, fake eyes, orange powders….

I returned to the source of art making practice for this exhibit. The curious, adventurous, anything goes making from my youth created these many delightful, often curious objects. This making process was fun and immediate, creating new pieces rapidly and severing what had become an emotional tie to the promises of all these materials.

To further sever the tie, the work is for sale, and very affordable prices range from $1 to $50. Some work is available for cash and carry.

The show closes October 12th with a materials exchange. Artists and makers are invited bring leftover materials to swap and socialize.

I hope you can make it to this show and the opening event!

-Renee

When the “Ah Ha” moment is an “Oh Duh”

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Last night I had the clearest moment of realization, that in fact all of my current hardship can truly be attributed to my own actions (kharma).

Like- Duh!

Transformation

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Since the New Year, I have been making many positive changes to my life. But I think the source of all this change actually came not from my free will, but because I had to stop drinking to take Accutane. Its not as though drinking were some kind of issue, but when it was absent I noticed how much a filler it can be, much like the other things I’ve phased out

Reductions:

  • Not Drinking
  • Quiting TV
  • phasing out myspace
  • checking email less

Additions:

  • Revamping my studio
  • Working on exciting ideas for my new show
  • reading more
  • going to see more art, going to museums
  • collaborating with friends
  • Volunteering and taking classes at Shambhala
  • Re-committing to my daily meditation practice and trying to work with lojong
  • Keeping this blog and my accutane blog

Without the time filler activities, I’ve been able to add in so many more positive activities. One down side is that the Accutane makes me feel like a lethargic arthritic old lady, so I haven’t been exercising at all, and it is driving me crazy. I am looking forward to May, when my skin transformation is complete, the accutane is over, and I can maintain my new life style, but with energy.

Discursive Emails

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

So quiting my gmail addiction will prove to be more challenging then TV, because I do actually have to use it. Its amazing how even just cutting back just this one day has really exposed the discursive quality of my mind’s attachment to it. It comes up all the time. Like *Ping* “I wonder if there’s new mail?” *Ping*. Its identical to the way thoughts come up during meditation. *Ping* *Ping*

Paramita of Discipline

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

I’ve successfully stopped watching TV. I’ve watched TV twice in the past 3months! This is a big feat for me. I used to love to veg out, unwind and watch TV, especially after work. But really it didn’t help me unwind. So basically since the new year, I’ve been without it.

Quiting TV has freed up time for reading, which is not only great because of the knowledge gained, but actually seems to calm my mind when it is frenetic. The act of reading is so very different from other mental activities and from TV, that really no matter what I am reading, I can feel my mind changing, much like during meditation.

Now for step two.

I will quit checking my email, but once a day, maybe twice a day when I teach at Loyola, because the students use it to contact me. Always having the gmail tab open, is like a bug in my ear. Like a siren, it lures me to a falsehood of connectivity and socializing, but in reality it creates this nuisance habit, frenetic brain waves, and huge amount of lost time.

Web 2.0 is wildly successful at making us think that something will actually happen on the internet. By tapping into one of our strongest needs- of belonging and socializing, it offers us really a bait and switch, and instead leaves a feeling of emptiness and wasted time, and maybe a new pair of jeans.

With my new time, I would like to ideally do actual social things, and participate in society in much more meaningful way. Last night when I finally decided to put this new plan into action, I turned off the gmail, and I wrote the sympathy card for my godfather I should have written two weeks ago, and I burned 3 CDs for my friend and put them in an envelope. I want to write real thank you notes. I want to use my new time to really contact people, and really let them know that their gestures and their friendship is very important to me.