I will start taking Accutane on Monday.
But the challenges began a month ago when I had to join the FDA mandated
ipledge program, in which I pledge not to get pregnant. Accutane causes serious birth defects. So being a woman of child bearing capabilities I must pledge to use TWO forms of birth control, for one month before I even begin accutane, meaning one hormonal and one barrier. I've been married to my lovely husband Michael for almost four years, and using a condom has been challenging for both of us. Hopefully it will result in more creativity and humor, but currently it feels frustrating. What is additionally frustrating is that even though I was given a book to read on how to use and choose two forms of birth control, it did not truly inform me of any drug interaction between accutane and hormonal contraception. I feel like this program is a scare tactic, when I would prefer being informed.
Accutane also threatens its users with depression, of which I am no stranger. After practicing sitting meditation for nearly three years, I have felt confident of my abilities to thwart off depression with great ease. This confidence resulted in me not meditating everyday, which has resulted in a resurgence of impatience, irritability, and anger. In preparation for this treatment, I have once again been meditating everyday, and I am meeting regularly with my meditation instructor at The
Shambhala Mediation Center. I will use the discipline of meditation to keep a watchful eye on my mood.
So before the accutance has even started, I feel as though I am in a battle and I am preparing for more. What I took as good news from my doctor is that all of the bad symptoms will happen in the first month. So I feel like if I can handle the first month, I will be able to handle all five!
Accutane works in many ways, and while I'm on it my skin, nose, eyes, everything will be very dry. I have started collecting a kit of lubrications, but I should be more prepared. I should have travel and domestic versions of all the moisturizers I'll need.
At my last appointment, where they took my blood, my doctor greeted me by asking if I was ready to have acne free skin? She said I shouldn't do anything to my skin that wouldn't be done to a new born baby. I am getting new skin! For so many years, I though my acne would clear up. I thought I am too old to have this, so it will go away. I thought and heard from others that it wasn't that bad, but it was. It was really bad. Last year when I started on antibiotics and my skin became clear, I could tell people treated me differently, even Michael. And now, if this is successful, I will have clear skin. Not for the five months of treatment, but for all time after.
Labels: accutane, acne, ipledge, shambhala, skin
