1.07.2010

Neutrality

Happy New Year! Sorry I’ve had such a long hiatus from writing. I would love to blame it on something like the end of the semester, the holidays, vacation, etc., but I don’t really believe it was any of those. I believe my silence is the result of and overwhelming feeling of neutrality I’ve had for a while. Its not quite a depression, but more like a type of boring contentment. I’ve had no inspiration to make work in my studio or apply for shows and its really becoming quite frustrating.

I’ve started some of what I need to do to turn this around.

  1. Get back on track with meditation. I tend to loose my momentum during the holidays and while traveling, something I’m embarrassed to admit, but I am getting back on track with my at home practice, and I am signed up for the next evening class, Contentment in Everyday Life at The Shambhala Center.
  2. Exercise. After our ski vacation I am really inspired to exercise outside nearly everyday even when it is cold, snowy and icy here in Chicago. I’ve been cross-country skiing once and have been urban hiking around town in my new yaktrax.
  3. Reading. I’ve started to dive into my new books starting with “The Critique Handbook, A Sourcebook and Survival Guide” Which will help me lead more rigorous critiques during this next semester.
  4. Going to my studio. This area still needs improvement. I just need to go there, even when there is seemingly nothing to do.
  5. Remain open. It seems like I’ve been short circuiting every idea. “Oh that won’t work.” or “Thats dumb.” Almost all my work is the result of making one thing and discovering something else unexpected. Without the making part, the discover will never come.
  6. Go to see art. This is also on the to-do list. I want to go to some openings and make use of my new Art Institute membership this week.
  7. Be Gentle. I am also reading “Start Where You Are,” and I need to remind myself of Pema’s gentle approach constantly. Beating myself up for perceived failures will not get me anywhere. Lately, even though I’ve been accomplishing things from my to do list, I only feel like I’ve done nothing.
  8. Sketchbook! Work in it. I am planning to cut out everything I found inspiring from last year’s Sculpture Magazines for my sketchbook, and review previous notes and ideas.
  9. Help someone. This is something I’ve been aware of since undergrad. Somehow helping someone else really gets things going. I don’t have any art friends I can help at the moment, but I will be helping my neighbor design some storage solutions for her condo.

Hope your new year is of to a more inspired start.

Labels: , , , , ,

12.05.2009

Art, Teaching and Meditation

I wrote an essay for Chicago Artist’s Resource on the relationship of art, teaching and meditation in my life. You can read it on their site.

Labels: , , , , , ,

4.19.2009

Science, Buddhism and Art

On April 10, 11, and 12 I took a course at The Shambhala Meditation Center in Chicago titled Consciousness, Compassion, and Transcendence which was taught by Jeremy Hayward. I was inspired by his first talk on Friday night when he talked about the principles that Buddhism and Science have in common, I thought these principles also applied to art. This blog entry is structured based on his talk and his comments on science and Buddhism. I’ve added my thoughts on art to each of his points.

Science, Buddhism and Art are based in questioning. They are based in a longing which is fundamental in humanity. This longing seeks the truth, but these three disciplines look for the truth in different yet complimentary ways. They have the following in common:

Art, Science and Buddhism are:

based on experiment not faith.

In science the hypothesis and experiment are fundamental. In Buddhism the practitioner learns by trying and doing and is not expected to believe anything that he or she cannot experience. In both of these practices dogmatism is out of place, but it is unfortunately often present in science and occasionally Buddhism.

In the case of art, experiment and faith converge. The artist is like a scientist performing experiments without a hypothesis. The studio is like a crazy lab or strange and wonderful manifestation of these experiments. The artist also has faith in his or herself. Her ability to know without knowing, from an intuitive place, which of the experiments are a true expression is essential. Not all experiments should make it out of the studio. Only some of the experiments create their own momentum within the studio and begin to drive the sequential experiments. This making is genuine. This is making without knowing. Once the artist sees what the outcome will be, the rest of the process is labor, just work to complete the piece.

Dogma also has no place in art. The “what is and isn’t art” argument should by now have reached the end of its rope. On the other hand art is not nihilistic. Art is not anything, but anything can become art.

aware of a disharmony between appearance and reality.

Science and Buddhism are both seeking a truth that is obscured by our limited faculties. The scientist is looking for fundamental principles and building blocks of the universe. The meditation practitioner is using meditation to experience without the duality of self and other prevalent in our consciousness.

The artist is also confronted by and confronting this disharmony. It is apparent when a student is learning to draw from observation like in my class at Wright College. The mind obscures what we see with assumptions and language, which is an obstacle to true observation. I see teaching students to draw from observation as a task of unlearning and letting go.

Artists are free to explore and manipulate the disharmony between appearance and reality. Artists include interpretive, emotional, and chaotic elements in their work to express a personal reality often clouded by disharmony. The disharmony between appearance and reality can be used a life long muse for artists inspiring works that are personally expressive and yet collectively appreciated.

recognizing the problem of the observer.

Scientists know that they as the experimenter are effecting the experiment and try to eliminate themselves from the experiment. Buddhists experiment on themselves, and know that the human mind is non-dualistic in nature, but that it expresses itself as dualistic in most situations, which creates an observer experience.

Artists are constantly working with and against the observer. I my own practice I’ve struggled with and have now come to rest in a confident place with the observer. In the past varied contrived observers would manifest in my mind like a multiple personality disorder and judge my work as I created it in my studio. “What would my mom think of this? My grandpa? My old professor? What would my peers say about it in a critique? Will galleries like it? Will someone want to buy this? Why do people buy art?....” I think the voices have both quieted and unified into a steady confidence. This took a while to happen and grad school helped this process. I took risks in grad school and was rewarded by the outcome of each one. I also think my meditation practice has helped. Its not that the observers have gone away, they remain an important team in my making. The more I realize that my art and my making are not about me, the easier it has been to work with the observer. Without the pressure of the self and a mandate of self expression the observer and the observed can merge.

concerned with cause and effect.


Science sees cause and effect as a linear progression because science has a concept of time. Buddhists see cause and effect as a network if interrelationships (karma).

On this topic the young artist unfortunately shares more with the scientist. I remember talking to a freshman at Alfred at the end of his freshman year about his next endeavors. He was very swept up with idea of creating a “body of work,” and was setting about this task as though he was writing a history book. I recommended that he make what he want without regard for a “body of work” and let some art historian or critic figure it out and “make sense of it all.” This approach to making saddens me when the artist is not aware of what he or she is participating in. This linear approach to making is structured not for the artist but for the marketplace and collector. It makes buying this artist’s work seem like they are buying into a greater plan, something that has already happened which mimics the post-mortum sale of an artist’s work. This also helps the galleries sell the work because it mimics selling a brand, not something messy and unpredictable like art. I think this type of making and buying is not genuine and is based on a construct that is not only out dated, but probably was never beneficial to either party. This linear construct of making and selling work implies that the artist is too wild and should be corralled and that collector is unable to buy what he or she likes.

Making should be open. The work of an artist will inevitably create some kind of body of work which will be deeper and more enriched without the addition of a linear construct. During my graduate studies I had to present my work in a one hour slide talk. Preparing for this talk was the first time I ever saw all my work together on a large light box. As I moved the work around I realized I had to begin my talk with work I did during high school because it was still relevant conceptually to the work I was pursuing in grad school, and is even still relevant now. This was a wonderful discovery, not a plan. The work should always be about discovery both for the maker and the viewer.

improving the human condition.

Buddhism is really driven by this. First you start with improving yourself, but your motivation is to get it together so you can help others. Science helps humanity, but only incidentally, its main focus is on phenomena, and if this results in atomic bombs or revolutionary medicine, the motivation was the same.

Talking about art improving the human condition is complex for me. Art as it is now, sequestered to its museums and galleries is hard to see has helping humanity. I say this as a “fine artist” working within the system of galleries and museums. This sequestered world is my world, for better or worse. However, I suggest that art does improve the human condition. The experience of the viewer, unaltered the dogma of history or criticism can be a genuine in the moment experience. Many viewers are separated from this experience because of the museum or gallery experience. They don’t feel they have the authority to view and experience the art on their own terms, but when they can be reunited with their own curiosity the viewing experience can be wonderful.

Labels: , , , , , , ,

1.19.2009

Work in Progress- Orange Sweater Fungus, Mountain Stickers

I am making some new fungus forms using orange sweaters I buy at thrift stores. The colony is growing day by day. Vesna and I are trying to show together in the gallery space in the Art Annex at Loyola. We will both be showing work dealing with fungi and decay. I will include this piece and the ceramic works. Vesna will show really large photographs from a pinhole camera. We just need to set a date with the department.
These are my plasticine models for the next generation mountain stickers. “Mountain Stickers” will be an affordable installation art product that creates a collaboration between the collector and me, the artist. The work will be small scale, low relief mountain ranges that are easy to arrange and affix to the collector’s wall. The collector will have the option of leaving the material of the molded mountains exposed, or painting over them with their wall color to create a seamless installation. An exhibition label completes the piece and the collaboration.

I hope to have these ready for market and sale in a couple months.

Labels: , , , ,

1.12.2009

Clocking In

The new year has started off great! I'm not really that into new years resolutions because I think they are too rigid of a concept, but I have made some changes.

Michael and I are meditating together almost everyday, and we have been to the Shambhala Meditation Center two Sundays in a row. Our goal was to meditate every day in January, but we have already fallen short of that, however our goal has created some momentum that has us returning to the cushion.

I have scheduled on my google calendar to be at my studio two hours every weekday this semester. I am off to a good start. My commitment is to be there for two hour even if there is nothing to do. I have been organizing and rearranging things over there and I am really enjoying it. It feels like a new studio. Committing to be there no matter what is already rejuvenating the practice of play that has been absent from my studio for many years.

Labels: , , , , ,

12.19.2008

Beautiful Decay








New work created at Loyola from the past semester. All pieces are glazed stoneware. These are installed in my studio. I now need to find a place exhibit them. They can be installed easily with screws into any wall. They are the beginning of work I'll be exploring, which is purchasable installation art. The work can be bought and installed by the consumer, transferring some of the art experience to the consumer.

Beautiful Decay looks at the beautiful and transformative quality of death and decay and reminds us of the cycle of destruction and creation.

Labels: , , , , ,

9.23.2008

Materials Exchange, Oct 12 @ mini dutch

In keeping with the spirit of my show at mini dutch, it will close Oct. 12th with a materials exchange. Bring all that crap from the corners of your studio to swap for new crap from someone else's studio. It should be fun! Meet and network with other artists, get rid of old materials, get some new materials.

Take a moment to post what you'll be bring here, if you know.

http://www.minidutchgallery.org/materials-exchange/

Labels: , , ,

9.15.2008

Fungus & Ceramics


So, I haven't written yet about my new, and most likely temporary teaching position teaching hand building in ceramics at Loyola! Its going really well, even though I was given such short notice (three days). I owe much of my success to Vesna, who has helped me out tremendously!

One of the great things about teaching this class is not only the added experience I'll be gaining, the great students, and the money, but I will be making some ceramic art for the first time in a while.

I've been fooling around with some old ideas, but have been unhappy with them, feeling like an imitation of myself. But this weekend on the El platform there was a new idea- fungus. This orange folded delicate organism, peeking out from between the boards.
This new idea will hopefully continue another piece I made a while ago, but sold this weekend at the mini dutch show. "Mountain Stickers" are latex casts of small mountain ranges, each about one to two inches long, painted white, with double sided tape on the back. A woman bought all of them, and was so excited about them! I asked her what she would do with them and she started drawing in the air and explaining how she would make a mountain range somewhere in her apartment. I became so excited about this. She was going to go home and have a creative experience with the art she bought. I love this idea. Hopefully these new ceramic fungus pieces will work in the same way, but probably not at the same price point.

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

9.07.2008

"Leftovers" show opening at MiniDutch Sept. 13th

Dear Friends,

I am excited to present this new show of old stuff:

Leftovers
Opening Reception: September 13th, 7-10pm

MiniDutch another apartment gallery
3111 W. Diversey
Chicago, IL 60647
773.235.5687
http://www.minidutchgallery.org/

In this show I've made work from the materials that have been in my studio, in some cases for over 10 years. I've been carting these leftover and never used materials around think that someday I would make art with them. The materials vary from found objects, felt, latex, fake eyes, orange powders....

I returned to the source of art making practice for this exhibit. The curious, adventurous, anything goes making from my youth created these many delightful, often curious objects. This making process was fun and immediate, creating new pieces rapidly and severing what had become an emotional tie to the promises of all these materials.

To further sever the tie, the work is for sale, and very affordable prices range from $1 to $50. Some work is available for cash and carry.

The show closes October 12th with a materials exchange. Artists and makers are invited bring leftover materials to swap and socialize.

I hope you can make it to this show and the opening event!

-Renee

Labels: , , , , , ,

8.15.2008

more for mini dutch

More work for the mini dutch show! For this show, which opens September 13th, I making work only with left over materials in my studio. In fact the show is called "Leftovers". My making process has been fun, impulsive, confident and cathartic. This process in a return to the joy of working with my hands, working directly, and the wonder of discoveries.

At this show all the work will be for sale. The price points of mostly $5-$40 makes the work accessable to my peers- other artists.



Labels: , ,

8.13.2008

Second Batch for mini dutch


rusted colony (sideways)



screw ball



daydreaming (ode to gormely)



latex hoops



masking tape painting 1



mirror galaxy

Labels: , ,

8.10.2008

First mini dutch pieces


Mirror Galaxy
etched mirror

Mirror Galaxy
etched mirror

Shipping Label Piece #2
shipping labels, hot glue
Shipping Label Piece #1
shipping labels, hot glue

I finally went my studio today and cranked out a few pieces for my show at mini dutch opening September 13th. The show is called "Leftovers" and I will be making new work from left over materials in my studio. The work is very impulsive, immediate, and fun. Here are the first four to preview.

Also, my new bike rocks! It took me painlessly all over town today. Love it!

Labels: , , ,

5.02.2008

Walking

Today turned out great. I walked to my studio in what was unexpectedly a hot and humid afternoon for a studio visit with the director of minidutch. Lucia Fabio is really awesome, and I am looking forward to working with her for this future show there. I will be pursuing a new method of working and using up all the old supplies in my studio. Old meets new, its gonna be great, and great fun.

After we ate at The Grind, I went back to my studio to continue to work on the self portrait for the show at Northeastern, and I think its coming along great.

I am starting to believe that I may actually get my idea across. I want this piece to be about self examination. But also I want it to be about the imperfect. Some how I want the viewer to appreciate that creating something like a portrait bust comes from destroying concepts and really seeing. That even in the making process, there is a constant ebb and flow building up and tearing down: correcting. I love making this thing. I love having my mind so completely engrossed and yet so open and free. Some how I am really excited. I love that this very old fashioned discipline, the discipline I abandoned in undergrad is now really an exciting punch line to this project. I am so excited that I think I might be using a traditional craft conceptually. I just need the right title.After I worked to this point, I quit and walked home through the cool and rainy evening.

Labels: , , , , ,

4.29.2008

Try Try Again

I am working on the last piece for my show this summer, White Moment.

My first idea for this was to have two casts of my head, made to look like the buddha heads, looking at each other. I want this piece to have a real self contemplation quality. Well after I asked two people to help me out by casting my head, and after I sat twice to have my face and head covered in plaster gauze, and I assembled them, I realized I didn't like them. They didn't really look like each other!

So then I thought I will use one of them, and have it looking into a mirror. But the problem with that is that the plaster cast doesn't have eyes.


Which reminds me the before I moved onto this step I bought and tried to install glass eyes into the plaster head because this piece is so much about looking, but they turned out SO freaky!

So now I am on the fourth try. I am literally sculpting my self portrait in clay. I must say its really not going well, but I've only worked on it for like 6 hours so far. I once made a really stunning life like portrait bust of a model, but working on myself is much more challenging. I am using the plaster cast heads for help, but for example, while working on the eyes, I need to take off my glasses and look in a mirror, but then I can't see so well.

So I'm hoping that even if this doesn't turn out very well technically and perfectly life like, that this process of looking and examination just to make the piece will come across conceptually. The sculpted head will be cast in white bees wax and be looking into a mirror.

Labels: , , , , ,

3.19.2008

Sentient, Studio, Press


Today was a fun day in the studio. Above is the new configuration of Sentient for the exhibit at Northeastern. Anna Poplawska will be writing about the work in Yoga Chicago. She writes about spirituality and art and has a monthly column in Yoga Chicago. She came to my studio today and I am pretty excited.

Labels: , , , , , ,

2.29.2008

Transformation

Since the New Year, I have been making many positive changes to my life. But I think the source of all this change actually came not from my free will, but because I had to stop drinking to take Accutane. Its not as though drinking were some kind of issue, but when it was absent I noticed how much a filler it can be, much like the other things I've phased out

Reductions:
  • Not Drinking
  • Quiting TV
  • phasing out myspace
  • checking email less
Additions:
  • Revamping my studio
  • Working on exciting ideas for my new show
  • reading more
  • going to see more art, going to museums
  • collaborating with friends
  • Volunteering and taking classes at Shambhala
  • Re-committing to my daily meditation practice and trying to work with lojong
  • Keeping this blog and my accutane blog
Without the time filler activities, I've been able to add in so many more positive activities. One down side is that the Accutane makes me feel like a lethargic arthritic old lady, so I haven't been exercising at all, and it is driving me crazy. I am looking forward to May, when my skin transformation is complete, the accutane is over, and I can maintain my new life style, but with energy.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1.21.2008

Wasted Time Wakes Up

The new year is off to a great start.

I am so busy.

After reading "The Evolving Self", I was really inspired to implement many of its ideas into my life, basically that a busy, intellectually challenged person is a happy person. Here are some of the things that I am doing to stay not just busy, but engaged in things that I are inspiring, challenging, and that I like to do.

- I am teaching three classes at two different schools. I am teaching two sections of Sculpture 1 at Loyola again this semester, and I am up grading some of the tools in the shop there too. I am teaching for the first time, General Drawing at Wright College, one of The Chicago City Colleges. Teaching at a new school has many obstacles of getting oriented, and teaching a new class has many curriculum needs. I have to build the whole class in a way that makes sense to me so that it will make sense to the students. I am reading "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain", as a refresher. I also, for the first time, I ordered a free desk copy of a book recommended by a colleague. As a teacher I can request relevant texts for free from the publisher to review as optional text to offer in my courses. The book I ordered is "Drawing, A Contemporary Approach."

So I am technically teaching full time. Its been a long time now since I worked full time. And balancing all the different needs of different classes and institutions offers its own challenges.

- I bought a new sketchbook. 8x11", hardcover black. I love the bigger size. I had been using the trendy moleskin model, but it really doesn't work for me. I need a bigger book to paste things into. This alone has radically awakened some sleeping creativity.

- I started building the walls at my studio. I took this long weekend to get the project underway, and thanks to Michael's help I am more then 1/2 way there! These walls are going to help me so much, return to the installation practice that is really the foundation of my work and thinking.

- I am reading a really inspiring book, "Buddha Mind in Contemporary Art"

- I am watching almost no TV, and no network TV.

- Michael and I are following our New Years resolution to cook new recipes together at least once a week.

- I am meditating everyday, and meeting with my meditation instructor regularly. Meditation is not only good for me in terms of my mood or disposition, but it also leaves my mind loose, ply able and open. The fertile ground for new problems to be come new art.

So even though work is at times over whelming, I am trying to maintain time for my art and research, as well as a small social life, and a pleasant marriage. Balancing these things has been wonderful so far.

Labels: , , , , ,

1.08.2008

Studio Stability

I talked to the landlords of my studio in their basement yesterday. They seem pleased that I want to stay, and may even contribute to constructing a wall. But I will be getting more space there, building a wall and maybe even a door. It seems that all studios have different limitations, and I can deal best with the limitations of this basement studio. Hopefully it never floods!

Labels:

12.16.2007

Studio Search

Last year I began renting a studio in the basement of a two flat, directly behind our old apartment. It is really basic, low ceilings, shedding brick walls, humid in the summer cold in the winter... I rent about 200 square feet, for pretty cheap. Its still in a great location for me, even since we moved, but it seems so unprofessional to have curators to visit. I have been looking to upgrade, but it has been a sad search, so far. Big cheap spaces, in very bad neighborhoods, with sketchy management. I seek a studio that I like to hang out in, like to read books in, have fun organizing, would like to have people over to...

Labels: , , ,