1.07.2010

Neutrality

Happy New Year! Sorry I’ve had such a long hiatus from writing. I would love to blame it on something like the end of the semester, the holidays, vacation, etc., but I don’t really believe it was any of those. I believe my silence is the result of and overwhelming feeling of neutrality I’ve had for a while. Its not quite a depression, but more like a type of boring contentment. I’ve had no inspiration to make work in my studio or apply for shows and its really becoming quite frustrating.

I’ve started some of what I need to do to turn this around.

  1. Get back on track with meditation. I tend to loose my momentum during the holidays and while traveling, something I’m embarrassed to admit, but I am getting back on track with my at home practice, and I am signed up for the next evening class, Contentment in Everyday Life at The Shambhala Center.
  2. Exercise. After our ski vacation I am really inspired to exercise outside nearly everyday even when it is cold, snowy and icy here in Chicago. I’ve been cross-country skiing once and have been urban hiking around town in my new yaktrax.
  3. Reading. I’ve started to dive into my new books starting with “The Critique Handbook, A Sourcebook and Survival Guide” Which will help me lead more rigorous critiques during this next semester.
  4. Going to my studio. This area still needs improvement. I just need to go there, even when there is seemingly nothing to do.
  5. Remain open. It seems like I’ve been short circuiting every idea. “Oh that won’t work.” or “Thats dumb.” Almost all my work is the result of making one thing and discovering something else unexpected. Without the making part, the discover will never come.
  6. Go to see art. This is also on the to-do list. I want to go to some openings and make use of my new Art Institute membership this week.
  7. Be Gentle. I am also reading “Start Where You Are,” and I need to remind myself of Pema’s gentle approach constantly. Beating myself up for perceived failures will not get me anywhere. Lately, even though I’ve been accomplishing things from my to do list, I only feel like I’ve done nothing.
  8. Sketchbook! Work in it. I am planning to cut out everything I found inspiring from last year’s Sculpture Magazines for my sketchbook, and review previous notes and ideas.
  9. Help someone. This is something I’ve been aware of since undergrad. Somehow helping someone else really gets things going. I don’t have any art friends I can help at the moment, but I will be helping my neighbor design some storage solutions for her condo.

Hope your new year is of to a more inspired start.

Labels: , , , , ,

12.05.2009

Art, Teaching and Meditation

I wrote an essay for Chicago Artist’s Resource on the relationship of art, teaching and meditation in my life. You can read it on their site.

Labels: , , , , , ,

9.01.2009

Open Crit @ Hyde Park Art Center

Last Thursday I was included in a new program at The Hyde Park Art Center: Open Crit. It was lead by photographer Daywoud Bey and curator Nathan Mason, both were so great. Three other artists were selected to present and the room was full of great people who contributed. I showed Orange Jelly and my ceramic fungi and received great observations and suggestions. The atmosphere was really great, all participants were motivated by being helpful and honest. I would recommend this program for anyone. I will be back as an audience member because I feel like I’m rusty in the art discourse.

Labels: , , ,

4.19.2009

Science, Buddhism and Art

On April 10, 11, and 12 I took a course at The Shambhala Meditation Center in Chicago titled Consciousness, Compassion, and Transcendence which was taught by Jeremy Hayward. I was inspired by his first talk on Friday night when he talked about the principles that Buddhism and Science have in common, I thought these principles also applied to art. This blog entry is structured based on his talk and his comments on science and Buddhism. I’ve added my thoughts on art to each of his points.

Science, Buddhism and Art are based in questioning. They are based in a longing which is fundamental in humanity. This longing seeks the truth, but these three disciplines look for the truth in different yet complimentary ways. They have the following in common:

Art, Science and Buddhism are:

based on experiment not faith.

In science the hypothesis and experiment are fundamental. In Buddhism the practitioner learns by trying and doing and is not expected to believe anything that he or she cannot experience. In both of these practices dogmatism is out of place, but it is unfortunately often present in science and occasionally Buddhism.

In the case of art, experiment and faith converge. The artist is like a scientist performing experiments without a hypothesis. The studio is like a crazy lab or strange and wonderful manifestation of these experiments. The artist also has faith in his or herself. Her ability to know without knowing, from an intuitive place, which of the experiments are a true expression is essential. Not all experiments should make it out of the studio. Only some of the experiments create their own momentum within the studio and begin to drive the sequential experiments. This making is genuine. This is making without knowing. Once the artist sees what the outcome will be, the rest of the process is labor, just work to complete the piece.

Dogma also has no place in art. The “what is and isn’t art” argument should by now have reached the end of its rope. On the other hand art is not nihilistic. Art is not anything, but anything can become art.

aware of a disharmony between appearance and reality.

Science and Buddhism are both seeking a truth that is obscured by our limited faculties. The scientist is looking for fundamental principles and building blocks of the universe. The meditation practitioner is using meditation to experience without the duality of self and other prevalent in our consciousness.

The artist is also confronted by and confronting this disharmony. It is apparent when a student is learning to draw from observation like in my class at Wright College. The mind obscures what we see with assumptions and language, which is an obstacle to true observation. I see teaching students to draw from observation as a task of unlearning and letting go.

Artists are free to explore and manipulate the disharmony between appearance and reality. Artists include interpretive, emotional, and chaotic elements in their work to express a personal reality often clouded by disharmony. The disharmony between appearance and reality can be used a life long muse for artists inspiring works that are personally expressive and yet collectively appreciated.

recognizing the problem of the observer.

Scientists know that they as the experimenter are effecting the experiment and try to eliminate themselves from the experiment. Buddhists experiment on themselves, and know that the human mind is non-dualistic in nature, but that it expresses itself as dualistic in most situations, which creates an observer experience.

Artists are constantly working with and against the observer. I my own practice I’ve struggled with and have now come to rest in a confident place with the observer. In the past varied contrived observers would manifest in my mind like a multiple personality disorder and judge my work as I created it in my studio. “What would my mom think of this? My grandpa? My old professor? What would my peers say about it in a critique? Will galleries like it? Will someone want to buy this? Why do people buy art?....” I think the voices have both quieted and unified into a steady confidence. This took a while to happen and grad school helped this process. I took risks in grad school and was rewarded by the outcome of each one. I also think my meditation practice has helped. Its not that the observers have gone away, they remain an important team in my making. The more I realize that my art and my making are not about me, the easier it has been to work with the observer. Without the pressure of the self and a mandate of self expression the observer and the observed can merge.

concerned with cause and effect.


Science sees cause and effect as a linear progression because science has a concept of time. Buddhists see cause and effect as a network if interrelationships (karma).

On this topic the young artist unfortunately shares more with the scientist. I remember talking to a freshman at Alfred at the end of his freshman year about his next endeavors. He was very swept up with idea of creating a “body of work,” and was setting about this task as though he was writing a history book. I recommended that he make what he want without regard for a “body of work” and let some art historian or critic figure it out and “make sense of it all.” This approach to making saddens me when the artist is not aware of what he or she is participating in. This linear approach to making is structured not for the artist but for the marketplace and collector. It makes buying this artist’s work seem like they are buying into a greater plan, something that has already happened which mimics the post-mortum sale of an artist’s work. This also helps the galleries sell the work because it mimics selling a brand, not something messy and unpredictable like art. I think this type of making and buying is not genuine and is based on a construct that is not only out dated, but probably was never beneficial to either party. This linear construct of making and selling work implies that the artist is too wild and should be corralled and that collector is unable to buy what he or she likes.

Making should be open. The work of an artist will inevitably create some kind of body of work which will be deeper and more enriched without the addition of a linear construct. During my graduate studies I had to present my work in a one hour slide talk. Preparing for this talk was the first time I ever saw all my work together on a large light box. As I moved the work around I realized I had to begin my talk with work I did during high school because it was still relevant conceptually to the work I was pursuing in grad school, and is even still relevant now. This was a wonderful discovery, not a plan. The work should always be about discovery both for the maker and the viewer.

improving the human condition.

Buddhism is really driven by this. First you start with improving yourself, but your motivation is to get it together so you can help others. Science helps humanity, but only incidentally, its main focus is on phenomena, and if this results in atomic bombs or revolutionary medicine, the motivation was the same.

Talking about art improving the human condition is complex for me. Art as it is now, sequestered to its museums and galleries is hard to see has helping humanity. I say this as a “fine artist” working within the system of galleries and museums. This sequestered world is my world, for better or worse. However, I suggest that art does improve the human condition. The experience of the viewer, unaltered the dogma of history or criticism can be a genuine in the moment experience. Many viewers are separated from this experience because of the museum or gallery experience. They don’t feel they have the authority to view and experience the art on their own terms, but when they can be reunited with their own curiosity the viewing experience can be wonderful.

Labels: , , , , , , ,

4.06.2009

Creatively Stuck

During and after my latest exhibit I experienced a familiar decline in creative production. It took exhibiting a few times after graduate school to catch on to this now reoccurring trend. Even though I now come to expect a decline in creativity during and after an exhibit, it can still be frustrating. I used this time to reflect on this experience and other times in which I had lost the impulse to make. In my experience, getting stuck can be caused by a variety of reasons, but, I’ve narrowed it down to four major causes that affect me.

Causes of getting stuck:
Too much time: I make more and I am generally more creative when I am very busy. Recently, being hit by two spring breaks (from the two different schools I teach at) has not put a boost into my making but as rather taken a big chunk out of it.

Completing a big project: There’s so much energy going into the project, that once its completed there is a deflated feeling. What will I work on next?

Melancholy: In spite of what my husband may say, it happens to us all. It could be the weather, or too much partying, or a legitimate depression. Sooner or later the blues will get you, and keep you feeling heavy and unmotivated.

Uninspired: Being uninspired is a little like the chicken and the egg. If its not caused by melancholy, it will certainly cause it. Occasionally, I just don’t have any ideas.
I feel that within these obstacles are opportunities. Here are the solutions I try to implement after I have the awareness to realize that my art practice has slowed or stopped. Sometimes it takes a while to even realize that I’ve spent eight hours this week watching The Wire on DVD, not only because its gripping and addictive, but because I might be avoiding an obstacle. So after the light of awareness hits me, I try some of these transformations.

Problem: Too much time
Solutions:

The List:
Make lists. Make long term to do lists, but most importantly, make a list of accomplish-able tasks for the next day. Be sure to vary tasks, from the household, to the studio, to the recreational. Don’t try to punish yourself or make up for lost time by suddenly putting in 10 hours at the studio after a hiatus.

Volunteer:
Volunteer your time so you are more busy. Volunteer with an organization or just help your friend out with moving. Get out there and be helpful. You’ll feel great and productive and you’ll want to get back to work.

Get outside:
Just do something. Go to museums, galleries, socialize anything. Get out of your house. Break your routine.

Take a class/Join a club:
Meet new people, learn new things. Do something that seems totally non-art related.
Problem: Completed a big project
Solutions:

Give yourself a break (if you deserve it):
If you just completed a major show or a major project. Relax. There is generally a feeling of exhaustion from all the work or a post partum like depression. Give yourself some time to transition to the next project.

Catch up on the computer stuff:
Update your email list, and website. Do the clerical stuff you don’t have time for when you’re jammin in your studio.

Network:
Use your show as an opportunity to meet new people.

Look:
Look for new materials and new inspirations for your next projects.
Problem: Melancholy
Solutions:

Do Nothing:

No matter what, it will eventually pass. No really, it will. Sometimes what you resist, persists.

Wallow in it:
Better yet, use it as inspiration. Make drawings or simple notations of how you feel. All of experience is source material for your work, so don’t miss out on this just because it feels crappy.

Exercise:
Put it on your list of things to do and then do it. Elevating your heart rate will elevate your whole being. You don’t have to like it, but you just might after a while.

Read:
Read those books you’ve been meaning to get around to.

Just get to work:
Go to your studio and work, even if you feel crappy.
Problem: Uninspired
Solutions:

Meditation:

Continue your meditation practice, add more time or go on a retreat. Creating space in your mind will allow the next thing to bubble up. The first entry in google when searching “creatively stuck," says “Try Sitting With The Silence.”

Repeat:
Do something repetitive at home or in your studio. Allot a certain amount of time for this repetitive action and do it for the whole time. Repeat as needed.

Be patient:
.....

Finally some closing thoughts on staying creative.

Work without a purpose.
Draw something everyday.
Write by hand everyday.

Labels: , , , , , ,

1.12.2009

Clocking In

The new year has started off great! I'm not really that into new years resolutions because I think they are too rigid of a concept, but I have made some changes.

Michael and I are meditating together almost everyday, and we have been to the Shambhala Meditation Center two Sundays in a row. Our goal was to meditate every day in January, but we have already fallen short of that, however our goal has created some momentum that has us returning to the cushion.

I have scheduled on my google calendar to be at my studio two hours every weekday this semester. I am off to a good start. My commitment is to be there for two hour even if there is nothing to do. I have been organizing and rearranging things over there and I am really enjoying it. It feels like a new studio. Committing to be there no matter what is already rejuvenating the practice of play that has been absent from my studio for many years.

Labels: , , , , ,

12.19.2008

Beautiful Decay








New work created at Loyola from the past semester. All pieces are glazed stoneware. These are installed in my studio. I now need to find a place exhibit them. They can be installed easily with screws into any wall. They are the beginning of work I'll be exploring, which is purchasable installation art. The work can be bought and installed by the consumer, transferring some of the art experience to the consumer.

Beautiful Decay looks at the beautiful and transformative quality of death and decay and reminds us of the cycle of destruction and creation.

Labels: , , , , ,

10.18.2008

New Business Card Design




What a long day of computering...My eyes are tired

Labels: , ,

9.23.2008

Materials Exchange, Oct 12 @ mini dutch

In keeping with the spirit of my show at mini dutch, it will close Oct. 12th with a materials exchange. Bring all that crap from the corners of your studio to swap for new crap from someone else's studio. It should be fun! Meet and network with other artists, get rid of old materials, get some new materials.

Take a moment to post what you'll be bring here, if you know.

http://www.minidutchgallery.org/materials-exchange/

Labels: , , ,

9.15.2008

Showing and Selling at Mini Dutch



Thank you to everyone who came to the Mini Dutch show this past Saturday. I had such a great experience. It was really my first experience selling my work and I loved it. Not nearly so much for the money, which was nominal (prices from $1-$50), but because I saw my art making people happy and going to good homes! I learned so much from this show, lessons that will take years to manifest.

If you haven't seen it yet head on over, and no not ALL the good stuff is gone, but about 1/2 is.

Mini Dutch Gallery

3111 w. diversey first floor
chicago il, 60647
773.235.5687

open Sundays 11am-3pm or call/email for appointment

minidutchgallery [at] gmail [dot] com

Labels: , , , ,

Fungus & Ceramics


So, I haven't written yet about my new, and most likely temporary teaching position teaching hand building in ceramics at Loyola! Its going really well, even though I was given such short notice (three days). I owe much of my success to Vesna, who has helped me out tremendously!

One of the great things about teaching this class is not only the added experience I'll be gaining, the great students, and the money, but I will be making some ceramic art for the first time in a while.

I've been fooling around with some old ideas, but have been unhappy with them, feeling like an imitation of myself. But this weekend on the El platform there was a new idea- fungus. This orange folded delicate organism, peeking out from between the boards.
This new idea will hopefully continue another piece I made a while ago, but sold this weekend at the mini dutch show. "Mountain Stickers" are latex casts of small mountain ranges, each about one to two inches long, painted white, with double sided tape on the back. A woman bought all of them, and was so excited about them! I asked her what she would do with them and she started drawing in the air and explaining how she would make a mountain range somewhere in her apartment. I became so excited about this. She was going to go home and have a creative experience with the art she bought. I love this idea. Hopefully these new ceramic fungus pieces will work in the same way, but probably not at the same price point.

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

9.07.2008

"Leftovers" show opening at MiniDutch Sept. 13th

Dear Friends,

I am excited to present this new show of old stuff:

Leftovers
Opening Reception: September 13th, 7-10pm

MiniDutch another apartment gallery
3111 W. Diversey
Chicago, IL 60647
773.235.5687
http://www.minidutchgallery.org/

In this show I've made work from the materials that have been in my studio, in some cases for over 10 years. I've been carting these leftover and never used materials around think that someday I would make art with them. The materials vary from found objects, felt, latex, fake eyes, orange powders....

I returned to the source of art making practice for this exhibit. The curious, adventurous, anything goes making from my youth created these many delightful, often curious objects. This making process was fun and immediate, creating new pieces rapidly and severing what had become an emotional tie to the promises of all these materials.

To further sever the tie, the work is for sale, and very affordable prices range from $1 to $50. Some work is available for cash and carry.

The show closes October 12th with a materials exchange. Artists and makers are invited bring leftover materials to swap and socialize.

I hope you can make it to this show and the opening event!

-Renee

Labels: , , , , , ,

9.05.2008

Artist as Ronin - No Self (an essay for the local Shambhala news letter)

Artist as Ronin
No Self

A contemporary artist without self is lost without a master. Modern and contemporary Western art has relied on and fallen for the personality of the artist, the moody, or drunk, or demanding, or troubled being that is the artist. The artist’s personality often drives the consumption of the artwork, and is often used to create a linear interpretation of the work, rather than allowing the viewer space to experience the work. The artist in Western traditions has been associated with a myopic often near madness that compels them to create their work without regard to others. The artist has even been see as divine.

As a contemporary artist, I might be doing it all wrong. I will wear different clothes, different masks, and perform different tasks. I am for hire. My work will change from place to place, time to time, and to suit the audience. I have no plan for my body of work or my portfolio. My vision is no vision. The more I practice meditation the further I become from fulfilling my role as artist.

Like the ronin released from their master, there is shame in my practice. A ronin is a samurai with no lord or master. After losing his master to death or ruin, a samurai was expected to commit suicide. Those who didn’t lived a drifting life and were shamed from their samurai community. My art practice fails the contemporary art community because my work becomes like a mirror, a lens, a tool, for questioning what is around me, not a driving force of self-expression. My work explores the space of the gallery and the space of the viewer’s mind. My successful work creates space, a moment, and emptiness.

But really, being without self is the challenge and this is the goal for me as a mediator and an artist. My goal is never knowing about what I’m making, but rather to be in the studio making without knowing why. To be lost in the process of materials, ideas, and impulses is the joy. My art practice and meditation practice rely on being open to whatever comes up, to having no agenda, and to recognizing the unexpected as an opportunity.

Labels: , , ,

8.15.2008

more for mini dutch

More work for the mini dutch show! For this show, which opens September 13th, I making work only with left over materials in my studio. In fact the show is called "Leftovers". My making process has been fun, impulsive, confident and cathartic. This process in a return to the joy of working with my hands, working directly, and the wonder of discoveries.

At this show all the work will be for sale. The price points of mostly $5-$40 makes the work accessable to my peers- other artists.



Labels: , ,

8.13.2008

Second Batch for mini dutch


rusted colony (sideways)



screw ball



daydreaming (ode to gormely)



latex hoops



masking tape painting 1



mirror galaxy

Labels: , ,

8.10.2008

First mini dutch pieces


Mirror Galaxy
etched mirror

Mirror Galaxy
etched mirror

Shipping Label Piece #2
shipping labels, hot glue
Shipping Label Piece #1
shipping labels, hot glue

I finally went my studio today and cranked out a few pieces for my show at mini dutch opening September 13th. The show is called "Leftovers" and I will be making new work from left over materials in my studio. The work is very impulsive, immediate, and fun. Here are the first four to preview.

Also, my new bike rocks! It took me painlessly all over town today. Love it!

Labels: , , ,

8.08.2008

My Last Day

So to day is my last day of my summer job, which has been a real roller coaster, with occasional ups and lots of downs.

When I opened my email this morning I had the most appropriate lojong in my in box, ever! It was delightful and made me laugh. Thanks ancient Buddhists! (get a lojong saying every day via: http://lojongmindtraining.com/default.aspx)

Below are three interprtations and translations of the saying in chronological order.

Don't Expect Thanks

Don't hope that others will express their gratitude in words of thanks for your own practice of dharma, your helping others, or your practicing virtue. In a word, get rid of any expectation of fame or prestige.

All these points of advice are means that will strengthen mind training and prevent it from weakening. In summary, Gyal-se Rinpoche said:

Throughout our lives we should train well in the two kinds of bodhicitta, using both meditation and postmeditation practices, and acquire the confidence of proficiency.

Make an effort to follow this instruction.

From The Great Path of Awakening : An Easily Accessible Introduction for Ordinary People by Jamgon Kongtrul, translated by Ken McLeod. Copyright 1993 by Ken McLeod.
Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston.


Don't Expect Applause

Don't expect others to praise you or raise toasts to you. Don't count on receiving credit for your good deeds or good practice.

From Training the Mind & Cultivating Loving-Kindness by Chogyam Trungpa , copyright 1993 by Diana Mukpo.
(Official Chogyam Trungpa Website)
Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston.


Don't Expect Applause

The next slogan is "Don't expect applause," which means "Don't expect thanks." This is important. When you open the door and invite all sentient beings as your guests, and not only that, but you also open the windows, and the walls even start falling down, you find yourself in the universe with no protection at all. Now you're in for it. If you think that just by doing that you are going to feel good about yourself, and you are going to be thanked right and left- no, that won't happen. More than to expect thanks, it would be helpful just to expect the unexpected; then you might be curious and inquisitive about what comes in the door. We can begin to open our hearts to others when we have no hope of getting anything back. We just do it for its own sake. On the other hand, it's good to express our gratitude to others. It's helpful to express our appreciation of others. But if we do that with the motivation of wanting them to like us, we can remember this slogan. We can thank others, but we should give up all hope of getting thanked back. Simply keep the door open without expectations.

From Start Where You Are : A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron, Copyright 1994, Shambhala Publications.
Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston.

Labels: , , , ,

8.04.2008

Glimpsing Center, Again.

This job this summer has tried me in almost every possible way: long hours, big disappointments, lack of control over the final product, difficult people, and self doubt. I constantly feel inadequate and like I am a disappointment to my employer archi-treasures. I don't sleep well, I am constantly worried.

My meditation practice has lapsed for up to a couple days at a time and my alcohol consumption has increased in a predictably stressful and summer way. These two things are not good for me.

But today I had a glimpse of the center I once knew.

"I can only do this job as well as I can. Any body's disappointment or agendas belong to them not me."

Labels: , , , , ,

7.23.2008

Waiting


We are waiting for the 20th ward Alderman to move and sand blast the planters. We are ready to paint. I am discouraged, and starting to thing about some plan-B's. The teens really want to paint. Above is the front and back designs for the planters and the colors we'll use. I'm starting to think about sidewalk sandwich boards, other types of signage or community markers. I really want to make something, and make something happen. I'm not getting paid enough not to make art.

Here is our practice one...


Labels: , , , ,

7.10.2008

Summer Work


This summer I am working on this incredible community based public art project in Woodlawn.

I was hired through a not-for-profit group that facilitates community art projects, gardens, and other community space, archi-treasures as the artist for this project. I am working with 15 very bright teens. They challenge me in every way, everyday. I am learning so much about myself, and my teaching practice through them. I am also learning about them and their community.

I've been enjoying my commute to Woodlawn once I get on south Lake Shore Drive. It is really beautiful. I pass by The Republic everyday. She is wonderful.

Our project is very complex, and has many moving parts, and I would not be able to keep up with all of them with out the help of Dorothy Pytel, who is the "instigator" of this whole project, and is very organized. And also Sherry Shannon, who helps with the day to day order.

Our task is to move, decorate, and plant up to 30 large concrete planters. That sounds simple, but its not. The most challenging part is that the planters must be "adopted" by a community group or business to ensure the continued up keep of the planter. Once this project is completed the planters will serve as community markers, and will unify active members of the community together.

We are moving along and finally making much head way this week. We designed the Woodlawn logo which will be stenciled on all the planters.


We are also making much needed head way in community out reach and in designing the planters. This project has a blog: http://woodlawnyouth.blogspot.com/ Please follow along.

Everyday at work I feel totally overwhelmed, and when I get home I am exhausted, but optimistic. The biggest lesson, that I haven't learned yet is how to deal with not pleasing everybody. Every small dissatisfaction of one of the teens, or someone else feels like big failure on my part.

Labels: , , , , ,

6.09.2008

White Moment Opens Friday

Dear Friends,

My installation White Moment opens today, but the opening reception is on Friday from 6-9pm. On Wednesday I will be giving a gallery talk at 11am.

I am really excited about this exhibit, and I hope you can make it to the opening reception but if you can't, I hope you will go and see it while its up from June 9th-August 1, hours: 11-6 M-Th, 12-4 F.

The exhibit seems to express a culmination of investigations I've been pursuing in my studio on and off for more then six years. It features sculpture, video, site specific installation, archival digital prints, and a catalogue with an essay by Mary Ann Wincorkowski.

Read a review of the show in Yoga Chicago

Hope to see you there.

over view rear

breathe detail distance

sentient left

self portrait with mirror

Please use this map to park at NEIU and find the gallery. The address of the university is 5500 N. St. Louis Ave, Chicago IL 60625. If you drive there, enter on Bryn Mawr, just west of Kimball and follow the access road south to Lot F. Park any where in Lot F during the night of the opening, or at the meters any other time. Enter the building from the north-east corner of the lot and find the gallery on your right.

Main_Campus_Parking_Map2 copy

Labels: , ,

4.29.2008

Try Try Again

I am working on the last piece for my show this summer, White Moment.

My first idea for this was to have two casts of my head, made to look like the buddha heads, looking at each other. I want this piece to have a real self contemplation quality. Well after I asked two people to help me out by casting my head, and after I sat twice to have my face and head covered in plaster gauze, and I assembled them, I realized I didn't like them. They didn't really look like each other!

So then I thought I will use one of them, and have it looking into a mirror. But the problem with that is that the plaster cast doesn't have eyes.


Which reminds me the before I moved onto this step I bought and tried to install glass eyes into the plaster head because this piece is so much about looking, but they turned out SO freaky!

So now I am on the fourth try. I am literally sculpting my self portrait in clay. I must say its really not going well, but I've only worked on it for like 6 hours so far. I once made a really stunning life like portrait bust of a model, but working on myself is much more challenging. I am using the plaster cast heads for help, but for example, while working on the eyes, I need to take off my glasses and look in a mirror, but then I can't see so well.

So I'm hoping that even if this doesn't turn out very well technically and perfectly life like, that this process of looking and examination just to make the piece will come across conceptually. The sculpted head will be cast in white bees wax and be looking into a mirror.

Labels: , , , , ,

3.19.2008

Sentient, Studio, Press


Today was a fun day in the studio. Above is the new configuration of Sentient for the exhibit at Northeastern. Anna Poplawska will be writing about the work in Yoga Chicago. She writes about spirituality and art and has a monthly column in Yoga Chicago. She came to my studio today and I am pretty excited.

Labels: , , , , , ,

3.17.2008

Reality Check

Art Advice is a helpful website I just started looking at.

Labels: , , , ,

3.13.2008

Priced to Sell

I've been experimenting some with marketable work to accompany my installations. I attribute this to coming to my senses as well as honestly trying to meet some of the enthusiasm my work generates in viewers, with a take it home option. The few items I've made and priced, I've priced reasonably in an effort to facilitate collecting from some people who might not think they can. This article from Art Newspaper may have me further second guessing this egalitarian approach. Sorry.

Why we like art less when its price goes down

Labels: , ,

3.07.2008

Tucson Exhibits

Here are some pictures from my opening in Tucson.

I was in a juried encaustic show at Conrad Wilde Gallery, which is a really nice contemporary gallery, which mainly features encaustic work.
The opening was really well attended, there was about 200 people.
My mom, had an opening the same night. She makes encaustic work too!
Her triptych sold!

Labels: , , , ,

2.29.2008

Transformation

Since the New Year, I have been making many positive changes to my life. But I think the source of all this change actually came not from my free will, but because I had to stop drinking to take Accutane. Its not as though drinking were some kind of issue, but when it was absent I noticed how much a filler it can be, much like the other things I've phased out

Reductions:
  • Not Drinking
  • Quiting TV
  • phasing out myspace
  • checking email less
Additions:
  • Revamping my studio
  • Working on exciting ideas for my new show
  • reading more
  • going to see more art, going to museums
  • collaborating with friends
  • Volunteering and taking classes at Shambhala
  • Re-committing to my daily meditation practice and trying to work with lojong
  • Keeping this blog and my accutane blog
Without the time filler activities, I've been able to add in so many more positive activities. One down side is that the Accutane makes me feel like a lethargic arthritic old lady, so I haven't been exercising at all, and it is driving me crazy. I am looking forward to May, when my skin transformation is complete, the accutane is over, and I can maintain my new life style, but with energy.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2.20.2008

Effortlessness




It seems that many things like my art and teaching come together with what seems to be such relative ease, that I struggle to impose more effort. I feel that if I could or would "work harder" at it, it would be some how be better, recognized, and the big show that solves all the problems would be the next show.

But in fact it is from a place of ease created by confidence in my experience that things fall into place. It is the gasping and guessing that create the stress of doubt.

Labels: , ,

2.05.2008

The Art of Creativity

I've been working diligently towards my next show, happening in June at Northeastern Illinois University Gallery. I named the show "White Moment". It will feature new and "old" work integrated to create a new installation and new understanding of the "old" work. I am really excited about it. It’s almost as if I'm beginning to use my own previous works as found objects, and combine them together to recontextualize each other into new work. I feel liberated.

I googled "White Moment" before I sent it off to the curator as the title of my show, and the article "The Art of Creativity" from Psychology Today came up. I printed the whole article and taped it into my sketch book. There are so many interesting points articulated there that I have been trying to articulate myself about the direction of my work. I will be mining that article for new work and for my show statement.

I want to write a clear essay/statement for my show "White Moment” which articulates and explains my relationship to and my investigation into the relationship of art viewing, art making, and meditation. An article in the text “Buddha Mind in Contemporary Art” touches on the relationship between the three. I don’t mean to suggest that they are interdependent, but they are also not independent. The ideal moment of making, viewing and meditation is that of “no mind”.

"If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few."
-SUZUKI-ROSHI

Labels: , , ,

1.30.2008

Tub Practice

So as I mentioned, I was going to practice for the tub shoot this weekend, but there were some problems, and now I need to borrow someone else's tub.

Problem one was that the pilot in the hot water heater went out. It took a while to figure out why the water was luke, and then to light it. I then waited a couple hours for it to heat up.

After filling up the tub and getting in I was practicing submerging and I realized I would need some kind of plug in my nose because water was getting up it and I thought it would be worse with milk. I went to Michael's studio to look for ear plugs to see if those would work without deforming my nostrils, when there was a knock at the door.

I wanted to ignore it because I was in a towel, but then another knock. And I thought for some reason it could be about the tub full of water. And it was! They guy down stairs said water was coming through his light fixture in his bathroom! I quickly got dressed and went down to his unit to see the globe of his light fixture full of water! I helped him take it down so it could dry out and it seems that there will be no damage to his unit. But I guess the overflow in my tub is not connected to the drain! Thank god that wasn't milk dripping down to his apartment!

So now I need to use a deeper tub or a tub with a functioning overflow. I will have to call my friends....

Labels: , , ,

Research and Searching

Researching for art is sometimes funny.

My next task today, after taking care much teaching paper work and what not, is to research for the video I'll be making this weekend.

I'll take a bath.

I need to take a bath to determine how much water I'll need and to practice my moves.

On Saturday with the help of my friend Tesia I will make a video of my face sinking and emerging from a white opaque liquid to take a breath. Its like a video version of my piece Breathe . I figured the best way to accomplish this would be in my bath tub. Yesterday I bought three boxes of powdered milk, enough to make 15 gallons of fat free reconsituted milk. Tesia will bring a light kit from school and her video skills, and at times we will both be in the tub of milk in my bathroom. She will need to stand in it to get an over head shot. I hope it turns out well.

I am making this video for my upcoming solo show at Northeastern Illinois University Gallery for this summer. I will show this new video, Breathe, and reconfiguration of Sentient and a few other new things. The show is called White Moment.

I am searching for mirrors for this show. I'd like to collect many mirrors of any rectangle or square size, with any frame or no frame, but I can't seem to find any at the thrift stores...

Labels: , , , ,

1.21.2008

Wasted Time Wakes Up

The new year is off to a great start.

I am so busy.

After reading "The Evolving Self", I was really inspired to implement many of its ideas into my life, basically that a busy, intellectually challenged person is a happy person. Here are some of the things that I am doing to stay not just busy, but engaged in things that I are inspiring, challenging, and that I like to do.

- I am teaching three classes at two different schools. I am teaching two sections of Sculpture 1 at Loyola again this semester, and I am up grading some of the tools in the shop there too. I am teaching for the first time, General Drawing at Wright College, one of The Chicago City Colleges. Teaching at a new school has many obstacles of getting oriented, and teaching a new class has many curriculum needs. I have to build the whole class in a way that makes sense to me so that it will make sense to the students. I am reading "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain", as a refresher. I also, for the first time, I ordered a free desk copy of a book recommended by a colleague. As a teacher I can request relevant texts for free from the publisher to review as optional text to offer in my courses. The book I ordered is "Drawing, A Contemporary Approach."

So I am technically teaching full time. Its been a long time now since I worked full time. And balancing all the different needs of different classes and institutions offers its own challenges.

- I bought a new sketchbook. 8x11", hardcover black. I love the bigger size. I had been using the trendy moleskin model, but it really doesn't work for me. I need a bigger book to paste things into. This alone has radically awakened some sleeping creativity.

- I started building the walls at my studio. I took this long weekend to get the project underway, and thanks to Michael's help I am more then 1/2 way there! These walls are going to help me so much, return to the installation practice that is really the foundation of my work and thinking.

- I am reading a really inspiring book, "Buddha Mind in Contemporary Art"

- I am watching almost no TV, and no network TV.

- Michael and I are following our New Years resolution to cook new recipes together at least once a week.

- I am meditating everyday, and meeting with my meditation instructor regularly. Meditation is not only good for me in terms of my mood or disposition, but it also leaves my mind loose, ply able and open. The fertile ground for new problems to be come new art.

So even though work is at times over whelming, I am trying to maintain time for my art and research, as well as a small social life, and a pleasant marriage. Balancing these things has been wonderful so far.

Labels: , , , , ,

1.17.2008

I am sorry.

Recently I accidentally did not conceal my emailing list, when I sent out an announcement for the White Balloon performance, and someone (ian_mclaughlin8@yahoo.com) must have taken the liberty of "replying to all" on that email, which included the email address for this blog. So he directly emailed and posted to this blog, which I (foolishly) had email set to auto post. So sorry to anyone who read his posts or got his emails.

I am always learning something new, the hard way.

Labels: ,

12.26.2007

Much to do about nothing

For the next two days, I will be meditating all day at The Shambhala Meditation Center's City Meditation Retreat. Even though I can not participate for the whole week, I am looking forward to the challenge of the next two day, starting today.

My work used Buddhist concepts, before I knew what they were. People would say my work looked zen, and I would think "Hmm, I better look into this zen thing." So my meditation practice is separate from, but informative to my artistic practice. I started meditating for my mental health, but have since then starting making work about meditating.

Labels: ,

12.16.2007

Studio Search

Last year I began renting a studio in the basement of a two flat, directly behind our old apartment. It is really basic, low ceilings, shedding brick walls, humid in the summer cold in the winter... I rent about 200 square feet, for pretty cheap. Its still in a great location for me, even since we moved, but it seems so unprofessional to have curators to visit. I have been looking to upgrade, but it has been a sad search, so far. Big cheap spaces, in very bad neighborhoods, with sketchy management. I seek a studio that I like to hang out in, like to read books in, have fun organizing, would like to have people over to...

Labels: , , ,