Bad News- Blood Test 5

I had my 5th blood test today, and it was supposed to be my last. But since I've had few cysts on my back over the past 2 months, it probably won't be. Julia said I shouldn't be getting any more cysts at this point in my treatment. If I don't get anymore cysts this month it might be my last month, other wise it'll be another month- 6 months total. I told her I would be happy to go for another month if I knew it would help prevent needing a second treatment in the future. She said that her and Dr. Berk didn't really know if an additional month had any effect on the need for future treatments.

So deep in this bad news is more bad news. Not only do I think I will be on accutane for another month, but I also think I will need another treatment, like my cousin did.

This bad news has been really hard. I've been trying to not (re)act to and not suppress my emotions. Its a new thing I am working on. Although I can say the advice in my head like a mantra, its actionable execution is questionable. I do know on some level that I am fortunate that this treatment is available to me.

And at the heart of this bad news is the end of my waiting. Knowing that I will be on this for not only a month longer then I thought, but probably an additional treatment at some point in the future means I can't wait for it to be over to get on with my life. I need to figure out how to exercise and have energy which will help my mood. I think the rhodiola has really been helping, and the gentle yoga I've been doing and springtime!